Pelumi's Memoirs - 20

Flower bomb, let me blow your mind..........

****

Pelumi woke up with a migraine when her alarm rang at 5am. She had been feeling feverish the day before. Work had been hectic and Alistair was acting a little on the edge; giving them tight deadlines and asking them to prepare a report for the meeting he had in the morning. She had stayed back late working. Thankfully, she and Fola had finished the report and emailed it to Alistair. 

When she got to her bathroom, the ground on which she was standing suddenly seemed like it was swirling. She held the sink just in time to keep from falling. Head bowed, she held onto the sink for a few minutes more before splashing water on her face. 

Slowly, she made it to her bed and laid on it.  Her head throbbed the more.

At 6:30am, Itoro came over and knocked on her door. "Pelumi, get up and and get dressed. You're going to be late for work."

Pelumi moaned. "Itoro, I'm not feeling well. I'll text Alistair and let him know."

Itoro frowned. "Do you have a headache? Is it fever......?"

She knew Pelumi loved her job and whatever it was had to be serious for Pelumi to still be on her bed at 6:30am. 

"Let me get you some paracetamol. I'll be right back."  Pelumi turned over on her bed. 

"Thank you." She said to Itoro before swallowing the pill with some orange juice.

She picked up her phone and texted Alistair to let him know she'd be taking the day off work. 

****

"I was twenty six. I had just moved back to Nigeria and was doing my Youth Service in Lagos. Even though my folks lived in Port Harcourt, I wanted to be close to Liyel. He felt the same way. He had just begun working at an advertising agency. I think his dad had wanted him to get some outside experience before joining the family business. It was a Saturday and we had gone to the movies.

Liyel was living in their family house at the time. I was living at a friend's place. He wanted me to spend some time at his before dropping me off at home later that night.

Celeste paused and reached out for her cup of tea. Holding the cup in both hands, she continued her story.

"One thing led to the other and we ended up having sex. That was our first time."

 "What? You guys didn't have sex in the U.S the whole time? Are you freaking kidding me?" Essien asked bewildered.

"I kid you not!" Celeste replied her as a matter of fact. " I had told him that sex was a no go area in our relationship until we got married. Liyel respected my decision. We did every other thing in the past except have sex."

"So like heavy petting?" Essien asked.

"Yes." Celeste answered. "Two months later, I found out that I was pregnant. I was distraught! My parents were devout Christians. Pastors in church.They still are."

"What would they think if they found out? What would their friends say? I had always been a good daughter. What would the church congregation say?  I didn't want Liyel to think that I was trying to rope him into marrying me. I was ready for marriage at twenty four. I knew Liyel wasn't.

Men don't marry that early!"

"I slipped into depression and I became confused. I had many sleepless nights as I pondered my decision. In my distress, I poured my heart out to a friend who suggested that I take the baby out."

Essien heaved. "At twenty-six, you were already a full blown adult. You were set to have a career rolling for you."

"I know. I know...... My parents are very strict. I didn't want to disappoint them." Celeste explained.

"I understand and I'm not blaming you." Essien remarked.

"I went to hell and back during the procedure. Barely three hours later, I started bleeding.I had been told that bleeding was normal after the procedure. This however, wasn't normal bleeding. It was very heavy and I was having these bad cramps around my stomach area. It felt like my reproductive organs were on fire. I called my friend but she didn't pick up."

"The one that encouraged you to take the baby out."

"Yes." Celeste replied.

"I had to call another friend. When my friend arrived and I saw who was with her, I nearly fainted."

"Your parents?" Essien asked quietly.

"Ah, no. My parents would have had to appear through some kind of spiritual medium in order to show up with my friend so quickly."

"She showed up with Liyel."

"Oh my God!" Essien said shrieking.

 "They got me to a nearby hospital pretty quickly. Liyel was beside himself. I'd never seen him looking so scared in all the time I'd known him."

"She's bleeding because she just had an abortion." I heard the doctor say to Liyel at some point. I wanted to die.

Liyel asked me whether it was true. I couldn't deny it. All the proof was before us.  I had never seen him so angry. The next thing I saw was tears streaming down his face. I hadn't really seen a man weep in real life. I did that day. I could tell something broke inside of him."

"I think I broke him. Celeste said, staring into space. That's why I told you that I did that to him. I turned him into whatever he is now."

Essien shook her head. "Darling, we are all responsible for our actions. It's not what happens to a man that counts. It's what he does with what happens to him."

"When I woke up, my friend and Liyel were gone. Word got to my parents through my friend's parents when they found out."

"The friend you were living with at the time?"

"Yep..." Celeste said nodding her head.

"I went to see Liyel one day after I'd been discharged. He was so angry. He looked at me like I was the most despicable thing on earth and told me that he wasn't sure he'd be able to trust any woman again. I stopped hearing from him. I called and called to no avail. Then one day, his number stopped going through. I had a feeling he changed it because of me."

"That was five years ago. I'm thirty one now and I do not know what to do with myself. I carry myself like all is well. Some people say I appear to be a confident lady. Like I've got everything in my life down to a science. I don't.  There's this big vacuum inside of me. I wrestle with it from time to time."

"Hmm. Essien muttered and reached to hug her friend.

"My parents were beyond disappointed. My father was beyond hurt."

Celeste continued with her conversation. "My father said that I didn't trust their love for me."

"Essien, I destroyed my life under a truckload of assumptions and what ifs!"

Essien looked at her friend, struggling to find the right words. "We make mistakes in life, sometimes. We are humans. We are not perfect."

'This one was too huge. It's cost me my joy and peace. When I see little children running around or babies, I imagine what mine would have looked like.

I still feel like a baby killer."

"Did you ever ask God to forgive you?" Essien questioned.

"Oh I did! I still do!" Celeste responded.

'Though your sins be as red as scarlet, they'll be made as white as wool. Though they be as red as crimson, they'll be made as white as now. Sound familiar?"

'Yes." Celeste said nodding.

"But you don't truly believe that God has forgiven you right?" Essien prodded.

"No. No I don't." Celeste replied, wiping her tears.

Essien heaved again. Healing wasn't limited to physical sickness in the body. Sometimes, healing needed to occur in a man's soul. Celeste clearly needed to heal from the inside.

****

Pelumi was asleep when she heard her phone ring. She blinked twice before checking to see who it was. It was Ivan. 

"Pelumi, hi.”

"Good Morning." Pelumi replied.

Ivan chuckled. "It's actually a few minutes past 1pm."

"Ah......" was all Pelumi could manage to say.

"Where are you? You sound like you just woke up from sleep." Ivan remarked.

"You are right." Pelumi answered. I woke up feeling sick today so I decided to take a sick day. I let Alistair know..."

"Awww, poor baby! You should've texted me." Ivan replied. "Know what, I can come over around 4pm."

Pelumi moaned. She didn't want him to see her in this present state. She was wearing an old nightgown and her hair was a mess.

"No, it's okay. I'll be fine..... Really. I think it's just stress."

"I insist." Ivan told her firmly. "I'm not that busy right now."

Pelumi sighed. "Okay, if you say so...."

"See you in a bit, baby."

"See you..." Pelumi said before she hung the call.

He had called her baby twice on the phone.

He had never called her that before. Baby? Pelumi frowned. Was this turning out to be what she thought it could be?'

She knew he was a very busy person but he was leaving everything to come see her.  She hadn't been in a real relationship before. This was all unfamiliar territory. She had a high school sweet heart and several admirers in University but she hadn't really had time for them. She didn't want to get distracted from her studies. She wanted to make her mother proud leaving no room for her stepfather to gloat.

After a quick shower, Pelumi changed into soft jeggings and a light sweater. She settled on a couch and proceeded with streaming Idris Elba and Beyonce's Obsessed on Netflix for about the tenth time.

Though their apartment wasn't fancy, they managed to keep it clean and tidy at all times. Ivan had never been inside her apartment so she didn't know what he'd think of it. Oh well!

Two hours later, Ivan appeared at her door with two large bags in his hands.

Ivan stared intensely at Pelumi when she opened the door leading into her apartment.

"How are you? Have you used any pills"? He asked, concerned.

"I have. I think I'm just stressed out."

"Come inside." She said to Ivan leaving the door ajar.

"Are you overdoing things? Know what? You should take tomorrow off work." Ivan stated.

Pelumi shook her head. "No, I don't want Alistair to think I'm a lazy bone."

"I understand that you are hardworking and reliable, Ms Jacobs. But we don't object to sick employees taking time off." Ivan said winking at her.

"Okay, you win! I'll take the day off tomorrow." Pelumi remarked.

"For you, princess. Where do you want me to keep these?"

Pelumi's eyes widened. "Really? She questioned. But why?"

"Pelumi, you ask too many questions." Ivan said teasingly, after placing the bags on a table."

"Nice apartment!" Ivan commented. He walked towards a sofa and sat on it.

"Ugh! Just tell the truth. It's a humble little place." Pelumi admonished.

"What does it matter?" Ivan asked her.

"Won't you open the bags?" He added.

Pelumi checked out the contents of the bag. Packed food from Chicken Republic.... chocolates.....fruits..... chocolate drinks....almond and soy milk..."

"But why? How did you find time to buy all these?"

"Top secret." Ivan said chuckling.

Pelumi stared at him. This guy was not real. He had to be something out of a fantasy movie.

He got up from where he'd been sitting and slid beside Pelumi on the couch she was sitting. "Can I touch your hair?" He asked. Pelumi shrugged.

He ran his hands through her hair, massaging her scalp. Pelumi closed her eyes. It felt very therapeutic. He cuddled her in his arms, stroking her hair at the same time.

As though someone jolted her from a reverie, she moved away from him and gave him a questioning look.

"Sorry...." Ivan muttered clearing his throat.  "Pelumi Jacobs, I like you a lot. A whole lot."

"It's not something I can really explain. I've become fond of you these past weeks and I'd like us to explore the possibility of a relationship."

Pelumi stared at Ivan dumfounded. She clearly didn't see this coming. "How?" She said to him.

"We are not on the same social level. You basically own where I earn a living. What are people going to say if they find out that we are dating? Because they will find out!"

The smell of his cologne filled her senses.

"What if one day, you decide that I am no good for you? That I'm not as polished as you are? Then what? Will you feed me to the wolves?"

Ivan looked at her squinting. He understood she had fears. He was looking for the right words to allay them. He moved closer and pulled her into his arms again.

"Pelumi, do I look like a shallow person? Do I look like someone who'd feed you to the wolves?"

"Can I think about this?" She asked gently. "Please."

Ivan loosened his hold on her. "Yes, but I won't give you the luxury of time to decide that. You can think about it but I’ll be looking forward to your response soon.”