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Comfortable in your own skin




Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother's sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards.......

I had written this post for a while now. I just had it sitting in draft mode until I saw Joke Silva's post on not having a conventional face and being passed on for some roles in the Nigerian acting world. 

Oh boy, I nearly fell off my chair. Unconventional face? What was that? This was a woman I had placed on the same pedestal as Oprah Winfrey in the corner of my mind - a strong, black influential woman. No kidding here! If you want to read all of her interview with Genevieve Magazine, I'd advise you get a copy of the Magazine. A digital copy is available for download. It's only 800 naira! An equivalent of almost 3 dollars or a few pounds depending on what part of the world you happen to be at. "Mrs Betty Irabor, you gotta pay me for this free advert I'm doing oo". Lol...


"Sorry, are you from Ghana?" "You're from Ghana right"? Million dollar question I get asked from time to time. The answers I'd like to give probably sounds like this - "mba, I am from Nairobi"! I consider myself a nice person so I smile and say sweetly," I am Nigerian".

I told my cousin about my encounter with a lady when I visited Nigeria recently. She'd referred to me as Aunty Black like she wasn't dark skinned herself. "My name is Debola and not aunty Black", I said to her. I have also had someone say to me, "uhmm, you are a different shade of dark like you are from Ghana". The other person sitting close by said to her, "but she is beautiful"! I held my peace. When a dark skinned person says to another darker skinned person, "hey you are a dark", that gets me confused on the inside.

The black skin is the most looked down on and little wonder black girls rush off to buy creams that'll make them " lighter, attractive or more attractive". My dad was very light skinned while my mum is dark skinned so God deemed it fit to make me of the dark skinned gang.
Emm, if you think that man was a product of evolution or some big bang theory, I can't help you here!

Since God makes no mistakes and his creation is perfect, I embrace my complexion in all of its glory. I'd like to say this at this point, "you are not your skin". Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder and what makes up a man is his total package.
You can be dark or light skinned all you want but do you dress shabbily? Can you hold an intelligent conversation? Are you aware of the happenings in the world? Do you have a sense of direction in life? What do you bring to the table? Are you confident? By the way, confidence they say, is sexy. Do you have self esteem issues? Please deal with it until you get to the root of it and oust it out of your life.
You are on your way to the throne. You are royalty and royals walk with their head set and shoulders high. Stop bowing your head.

It is not your job to be easy on anyone's eyes! You can only do your best to look presentable but there is only so much you can do! It is also not your job to make anyone who feels you are too dark better! In the end they will be alright.

Get comfortable in your own skin whatever the shade - Mocha, Vanilla, Latte, Cream.....  You are here for a purpose. 

See you at the very top!



Are you comfortable in your skin? I'd like to hear from you. 

Cheerio..... 





Comments

Rhoda said…
I am comfortable in my own skin.

This hasn't always been the case. I had to learn to appreciate myself and the more I did, the more beautiful I looked, not just to myself but in the eyes of many. The way you see yourself either elevates or diminishes your image of yourself and by others.
Debbie Ade said…
This is a loaded statement "the way you see yourself either elevates or diminishes your image of yourself and by others". I couldn't agree more.

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